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Title: The Success Machine Author: Henry Slesar Release Date: August 1, 2008 [EBook #26168] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUCCESS MACHINE *** Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at THE SUCCESS MACHINE By HENRY SLESAR _Mechanical brains are all the rage these days, so General Products just had to have one. But the blamed thing almost put them out of business.
Why? It had no tact.
It insisted upon telling the truth!_ The Personnelovac winked, chittered, chortled, chuckled, and burped a card into the slot.
Colihan picked it up and closed his eyes in prayer. -Oh, Lord.
Let this one be all right!- He read the card.
It was pink. -_Subject #34580.
Last Per.
Vac._ -_An.
14._ -_Analysis: Subject demonstrates decreased mechanical coordination. Decrease in work-energy per man-hour.
Marked increase in waste-motion due to subject’s interest in non-essential activities such as horseracing.
Indication of hostility towards superiors._ -_Recommendation: Fire him._- Tue Apr 04 21:30:55 2017 2 Colihan’s legs went weak.
He sat down and placed the card in front of him.
Then, making sure he was unobserved, he broke a company rule and began to Think. _Something’s wrong_, he thought.
_Something is terribly wrong. Twenty-four pink cards in the last month.
Twenty-four out of forty. That’s a batting average of_--He tried to figure it out with a pencil, but gave it up as a bad job.
_Maybe I’ll run it through the Averagovac_, he thought.
_But why...

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